Letting your emotions hold you back

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Ryan Thackaberry is a team captain and member of the Business Development team at 4Marketing. Ryan came back to the UK four years ago whilst setting up his own company (Nefeli Education UK) after living in Azerbaijan. He worked on the international stage for 4 years within the Erasmus+ Program, deploying international training courses.

Biggest fuck up?

Not controlling my emotions held me back for a long time. The constant frustration that I wasn’t being offered the tasks that I felt I was best suited for, the promotions, and the fact I’d been in this company for years but still felt like I was on the outside looking in. It drove me crazy, and the more it happened, the more angry and negative I became.

After a time, it became clear it was a standoff, I wouldn’t change myself without good reason (career progression), and they wouldn’t progress me unless I changed my ways. The solution became clear, it had to be me. After months of, I wouldn’t call it towing the company line, simply simmering down, I learned I was my own worst enemy in many scenarios and that not everything warrants an emotional response.


Oh, it’s got to be LinkedIn sheep.

I’m talking about this ever-growing thrall of idiots comprised mainly of dime-a-dozen salespeople, tech support/IT people and all these motivational life wellbeing gurus or whatever they call themselves, blindly liking/posting pseudo-motivational pictures of absolute nonsense (my favourite is that bloody wolf pack one).

I’m talking about the people who address posts from people like Richard Branson/David Cameron/etc. as if they wrote it themselves “Please, Mr Branson, I have a great business idea” It’s ridiculous.

Also, is there anyone left on LinkedIn that doesn’t have a #1 bestseller on Amazon?

Motivational speakers/energisers/gurus who pop up daily with their empty unrealistic quotes about how to be the best you can be with the application of their book and some positive energy! I want to praise people like Mike Winnet (The Uk’s #1 De-Motivational Speaker), who still provide a small corner of LinkedIn where satire and logic prevail, as well as exposing some of these so-called “Influencers” like Oleg Vishnepolsky and Bridgett Hyacinth.

Useful advice

Don’t be too trusting. You sit in these review meetings or 1-2-1s or whatever a company likes to call them, and you’re promised progression, you’re promised change, and you walk out of that meeting feeling really positive and upbeat that things are going to get better.

You sit there waiting, days become weeks, and weeks become months, and your belief that something is going to happen diminishes over time. This became a bit of a cycle for me a number of years ago, and it just becomes worse, it affects your work, you begin to feel that every promise is an empty promise, and you become more and more negative.

I solved this by being a pain in the arse. You chase, and you hound, and you follow up and you hassle. Make the people stick to their promises or admit they led you up the path. This gives you a measure of the person you’re working with and helps you determine whether the person you work for is actually worth your time and effort.


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